Spring 2009 - Day 3 Pre-Mission

I apologize if this seems rushed – I have a mission in less than an hour.

Friday morning was to be a bloodbath of zombifications – so declared by Ben Shannon and so confirmed by myself. The truth of HvZ population dynamics is that, with accumulated kills from Wednesday and Thursday, every zombie would be fed on Friday (and surplus people would probably be munched). Only the strong and the smart would survive, because by this day the zombies were organizing advanced ambushes to annihilate individual humans during passing periods. In particular, zombie population density followed a Gaussian curve model about the Bell Tower, with ends stretching toward Magruder-Violette and toward Baldwin. To the east and the west, numbers were significantly diminished, so humans that made it through this wall were safe to their destinations.

And the humans weren’t letting this wall build, either. There was a constant human defense organization positioned at the Violette door of Magruder, and that parking lot was kept open and clear for humans all morning. I took a path across the Mall to get to Baldwin after my chemistry class in Magruder and saw no zombies on that side of the population wall. While moving, I overheard a bible-thumper proclaiming the good word, and I had half a mind to perform a mockery by declaring the end of the world by eventual zombification.

After Spanish I made it back across the Mall (safely again) to the SUB where I had lunch with Gina. She’s been humoring all my HvZ stories, for which I’m grateful, although she does think I’m a dork for carrying a campus map in my backpack. For the readers who were members of DotA Squad – it’s the very same map. After lunch I escorted Alexis Matthews from Violette to Centennial by passing through Magruder. Alan Eckert was the only zombie we saw, and he followed us on principle. I applaud the man.

I found Zach Minute in Magruder before my other chemistry course, and we went to the Chemistry Corner to discuss strategies for the mission. Not knowing what it would entail, we could only speculate on attendance numbers and escape routes for the post-mission munchathon (A newly-coined term. Learn it. Love it.). We broke dorms up into three destinations: Centennial (C-Hall and WCS), Missouri (MO and BNB), and Ryle (Ryle, Campbell, and Fair). Centennial is more isolated relative to the others than any other destination, and Centennial was the group that got attacked the day before (see Spring 2009 – Day 2). However, respawn points had to be considered. Thus, our plan was the following. If either the Missouri or Ryle destinations are respawn points, then the entire human coalition goes to Centennial first. The group stays together after that until they can safely split into Ryle and Missouri. If either of the other two are the respawn points, then Centennial is safe on its own and Ryle and Missouri stick together until it is safe to split. This was how we would minimize casualties.

After chemistry, about 12 zombies were populating the Violette-Magruder gap. To make matters even more fun, Taylor Hyndman was in Violette and had a meeting at 2:30 in Magruder. He wasn’t going through that parking lot. I was on the phone with him, and I think we were on the same train of thought because he asked if the C-Store and the Multi-Cultural Affairs buildings were safe zones – they most certainly were. He made it to the MAC, being chased by zombies. I got on the phone with him again and, when we both had visual of the zombies present, told him to make a break to Grim when he had an opening. We disconnected our phones and I walked out of the south greenhouse exit of Magruder toward Patterson. I kept the attention of three zombies – just enough to give Taylor a chance. Bolting around the building toward the SUB, I drew the zombies away from Grim and toward myself. I ran to the basement door and heard Ben Eggering say, “He’s inside, he’s safe.” Not quite yet, zombies – Taylor wasn’t home yet. I ran up the steps and Ben, confused, questioned, “…maybe not?” I ran again to the next Magruder Door – the west door that opened to the parking lot. The zombies in pursuit slowed as I reached that door, and they barely followed me at all as I went to the final door and inside the building.

Taylor was in Grim, he said on the phone, and I was on my way back to the greenhouse door. I made it just in time to hold the door open for him as he sprinted across a clear Patterson, pursued 20 feet away by a single zombie. He was safe.

I convinced the humans inside to escort me to my van, parked by Centennial, so that I could unload most of my backpack and be more nimble during the mission. The movement from Magruder to Centennial, through the parking lot, and back again was psychologically intense, although only three zombies were in pursuit. Most of the humans had to get to Missouri (two had to get to Ryle from there), so from Magruder we made it to McClain, Baldwin, and across the quad to Ophelia Parrish. Behind this last building, near the parking lot that it shares with Missouri, we had a skirmish of 7 humans against 4 visible zombies (and one that I drew out of hiding from around the corner). Every zombie but one were stunned, and everyone made it to Missouri safely. No zomibifications during that ordeal, and it’s thanks to the intelligence of the humans with us. As veterans, I have a lot of respect for Zach Minute, Tom Hogan and Joey Palmer. I’ll be glad to see them at the mission today.

I darted to choir in Ophelia Parrish at 3:30 and, at 4:30, I’d made it safely to Centennial 15 minutes early for the mission. Humans were already gathered, preparing, and I’d formulated a plan to create a thinktank to solve our mission’s objectives.

-John